image: my bedroom curtains and my recent view
This is the first time I have opened my computer in six long days, some kind of record, I'm sure. As the title of this post explains, I have been unwell. Unwell is too benign to describe my condition. Those that know me well know this about me: I am not prone to paranoia or hysteria about health matters. But I've been so sick I actually saw the doctor on three separate occasions, on one of those occasions fainting in the surgery (not crumpling down but actually falling back flat like a plank). On previous occasions when I've been sick I've wondered whether I would be better served by a hospital. But this flu has had me thinking about death, like 1918. Every so often when the fevers have abated for a few hours I've been flicking an eye on my iphone and checking in with my celebrity friends. I only remember them when I'm sick, for some reason. I didn't know Eva Mendes was going out with Ryan Gosling. What was I doing watching a clip of her on American day-time show host Ellen? I also caught up with her on The Conversation (Amanda de Cadenet's "revolutionary" show where she talks candidly to successful American women about their lives). I learnt that Eva Mendes is an Independent Woman most proud of her financial independence much like the host. Apparently they "manifested" their wealth (a Wikipedia search told me that de Cadenet married John Taylor from Duran Duran at 16). Finding new ways to torture myself I have been back on Goop seeing how Gwyneth Paltrow is doing. She's doing great. I particularly enjoyed her brother-inlaw's renovation of his three-storey family home in London. My place? On the days I've been home alone, it feels like a sad, neglected residence, not exactly a junkie squat but possibly somewhere a person with dementia might live. As always I focus my resentment on the abject bathroom. I've been fantasising about calling in a professional cleaner to scrub down this one offensive room. My instructions would be really simple: it needs to be end-of-lease clean.